Journey to the Portal
Life has been hectic, chaotic, and just a full-blown mess of emotions. Around the 2021 spring equinox, I was going through family quarrels and resulting in a complete lack of self-care. I tend to struggle with this area. I can care for others with ease, but when it comes to myself, I tend to put her on the backburner.
So, long story short, I was depleted. Energetically and emotionally. For months I had received the repeat messages of “allowing the artist within to blossom.” I found out quickly that it’s very difficult to create from a state of exhaustion. I just couldn’t channel my inner artist no matter which media I approached. So I sought help from our Great Mother Gaia.
On the day of the equinox, I journeyed to a local vortex to exchange and release energetics, prohibiting me from moving forward. I had made plans to travel with my partner because the portal was a few hours away. The morning of the trip, he wasn’t feeling good, and I begrudgingly began my journey alone. Although I was silently resenting the fact I had to drive to the coast alone, I knew it was necessary.
The journey was just that, a journey. I did not rush and left the house well after 1 PM in hopes my partner would get up. When I finally got on the road, I found myself at the gas station fumbling around the shelves for about 10 minutes before I realized I was resisting this journey. When the thought first occurred for me to go to the portal, I was excited, but as the days drew closer and closer, I felt myself making reasons as to why I shouldn’t go. Realizing this, I quickly left the store to waste no more time. Knowing that I would be exactly where I was intended to be at 3:33PM.
Why 3:33PM? IDK, to be honest. What I did know is that my current trajectory had me at my destination well after that time. I stopped to get a bite to eat around 2:41PM, questioning every psychic bone in my body, knowing there was no way in the underworld I would be to the ocean by the desired time. Partially feeling defeated, I climbed back into the cab of my truck to go onward.
While mindlessly driving through a smaller city with a highway running through it, I drive past two large planters and a FREE sign with my name written all over it. The house was located oddly off the highway, and after a few dances with traffic, I made my way into the driveway to collect my bounty. Off in the distance, I see an older man in a pair of coveralls staring towards me without really seeing me, his mind elsewhere. I wave and call thanks to him before circling back around the truck to get back to the cab. Before my ass hits the seat, I hear someone yelling a short distance away towards me. I look up to see an older woman waving at me. “I’ve got more stuff back here!” Without hesitation, I grabbed my mask and trekked over to her “cave of treasures”…really, it was a covered driveway, but you get it.
My partner and I had been in the process of building a larger garden. He is going into organic and sustainable farming, and we figured we would start a garden for real this time. I had tried to start a garden the previous year only to have my freshly turned beds taken over by the far-hotter-than-advertised-“cold”-manure I had purchased from a local farm supply company. I ended up with a garden full of field mustard toxic to the chickens, dogs, cat, and humans living here, but completely edible for horses from which were the asses these seeds hailed from.
The year prior to the year of the ‘shit greens,’ I had started nearly 100 seeds. I had nursed them; I had cared for them; they were my babies. I was excited when their little shoots began to strengthen, and once they became hardy, I moved them into my hoop house. A hoop house is very similar to a greenhouse but has a tunnel shape. There may be more differences but IDK, not the story.
I moved my little babies out into the hoop house a few weeks before they were to be transplanted. Often when I would check on them, there would be butterflies and bees and just springtime harmony inside. It was truly delightful. They lived there for a few days before dying. A sudden wind storm came through that swept up my hoop house, lodging itself between two trees with the fragile life held within its thin walls, lying in the trail of its wake. I wept that day. At the time, I didn’t understand why, but that’s for a later story, on with this one.
As I approached the woman, I saw her face begin to etch a smile. Apparently, she had just begun her spring cleaning, and I had arrived at the perfect time. She continued to tell me she had many things she was planning on getting rid of, all of which I took. She was so thrilled to have been so effective with her chores she invited me in to see if there was one last thing I would take. She brought me to a comfy overstuffed chair. There was nothing special about the chair, but it was so comfy. I doubt I would take it but thought my parents might be interested in it so we went to exchange numbers so I could contact her later. She pulls out her notepad and is looking for a pen when I get impatient and pull out my phone, suddenly ready to move on with my journey. As I go to unlock my phone, I am greeted with 3:33. Sure enough, I was exactly where I needed to be.
I thanked the older couple for their many gifts and continued on my journey, them never knowing the true impact of our meeting. I continued on my merry way, suddenly ecstatic for this journey I had only shortly ago been loathing. I ended up arriving at the vortex right before 5:00PM. I felt its energies as soon as I pulled onto Cherry St. It was a gentle hum that radiated from my seat and rose through me as I drew closer. And thus the first time ever, daffodil made itself known to me.
“How odd?” some may say, reading this. How is it I didn’t know what a daffodil was? Welp, I didn’t. And it was not because I had never seen the flower, but I honestly never knew its name. But when I saw it made itself known to me, I mean, it stood out. No, it leaped out to be sure I saw its bold yellow, a yellow I needed within. Eagle was also there for my arrival. For as soon as I stepped out of my vehicle, she was there to greet me. Her wings outstretched like a welcoming of sorts.
I made my way to a scenic spot overlooking the water, a place I found fitting for this sacred healing. I called out telepathically to the great mother goddesses Gaia, Isis, and Yemaya for their assistance as I released what was no longer supporting me. I silently cried as I packed up, feeling nothing while at the same time feeling as though what I did was significant.
I retreated back to my vehicle and drove down to the lighthouse to be where land met sea. I sat with the water, allowing the elements to meet me and intertwine with my energy. Nature is magical like that. She offers so much support expecting little in return, and I allowed her and all her energetics to cradle me. It was during these times I truly began to understand the depth of the destruction we have allowed to happen amongst these waters. From slavery to pollution, these waters have been tainted and need healing. And it was in this moment I felt my true earth connection begin to re-establish.
I drove home different than how I began my day. I left the portal feeling re-energized and grateful – grateful for this earth and all she has to offer.
